With the points to consider that you've listed, you've pretty much answered your own question concerning "Through the Tunnel." Jerry makes breakthroughs in all three areas you mention:
Jerry no longer has to prove himself. He's already done it. When his mother tells him at the end of the story that she doesn't think he ought to swim any more that day, she expects him to resist, but he doesn't.
She was ready for a battle of wills, but he gave in at once. It was no longer of the least importance to go to the bay.
He's already proven to himself what needs to be proven.
Jerry makes a breakthrough concerning the tunnel when he swims through it. He pays a great price for doing so (major nose bleeding), but he survives and makes it through the tunnel.
As far as his dependence on his mother, all of the responsibility it took for Jerry to train himself to swim through the tunnel is his own. His mother knew nothing about it. Of course, one could argue that she should have, and what he did was extremely dangerous for a boy his age. But as the story is, Jerry shows great intensity of purpose in his preparations for swimming through the tunnel. Any boy that can accomplish what Jerry does cannot be accused of being overly dependent on his mother.
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