I think that your introductory paragraph does pretty much what an introduction should do, including focusing quickly on your subject and moving smoothly toward the thesis statement.
At the same time, though, this introductory paragraph may be trying to do too much at once. I'm a big fan of saving items -- such as the selective and purposeful summary of the story -- for the second paragraph in an essay.
I like to write and rewrite sections of my papers at different times. You don't have to have the introductory paragraph perfected before moving on to paragraph two. In fact, moving on is often a very good thing to do. You can always use a wordprocessor to move sections of your essay around and to revise your introduction once you have a better sense of what your essay is actually doing. I know that I may start an essay off one way only to find later that a different (and more interesting) sort of essay has emerged.
I would also recommend that you consider opening with a more specific statement about Hawthorne's background, such as "The nineteenth-century American writer...."
Finally, I would recommend that you definitely cite your sources but consider ways in which to incorporate the sources more smoothly into your own writing. I often like to use formal introductory phrases, such as "According to..." For me, the parenthetical citation is not enough, as it doesn't tell me exactly where the borrowing of material starts. Consider saving your sources for later in the essay, if possible. Feel free to challenge or otherwise move beyond your sources. You should treat them with respect, but you have the final say in your essay.
I hope that these comments are helpful.
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