I believe that they did. Homer is described as very popular. Faulkner writes, "Whenever you heard a lot of laughing anywhere about the square, Homer Barron would be in the center of the group. Presently we began to see him and Miss Emily on Sunday afternoons driving in the yellow-wheeled buggy and the matched team of bays from the livery stable."
I think he uses his magnanimous personality to lure Emily to bed, and once he has the notch on his bedpost, he dumps her. The argument can be made that once again, Emily has been severly underestimated and this betrayal pushes her over the edge.
As for the gay thing, I have never considered this a possibility; I still don't see it despite a brief once-over of the story. Perhaps someone else can comment on this angle.
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