As is the case with most legal stuff, the answer to this is going to depend a lot on where you live, and possibly even on what kind of law suit you are involved with.
Just to give you some idea of what might be possible, in California, you can have the server do what's called "substituted service." They can do this if they've made a good faith effort to actually serve the person but haven't managed it.
This process involves A) giving the papers to an adult at the defendant's legal residence, B) sending the papers to the defendant and C) filling out statements as to what the server tried to do to actually serve the defendant in person.
Most states have rules for what you can do if you can't find the defendant at all.
But for information about your own state and what is applicable to your case, you really ought to consult a lawyer.
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