In The Great Gatsby, Tom is traditional, well-established, conservative, safe in the sense that he is part of society's status quo. But Tom is also abrasive and dominating and even abusive. Gatsby is none of these, as far as the reader knows.
But whatever conflicts the above cause are only secondary in the novel, and only really come into play when Tom uses whatever he can to verbally attack Gatsby, once he knows Gastby has a relationship with Daisy.
Gatsby, new, mysterious, seemingly a man of the world, certainly a self-made man, tries to woo Daisy and recapture the romance he believes they once shared. Tom, domineering, physically powerful, bull-headed, is honestly shocked when he finds out Daisy has become involved with someone outside of their marriage, even though he has been doing the same. And he certainly isn't going to let some outsider come from nowhere and take his wife away.
Whether Tom is awakened by the threat to his marriage or he simply protects what he sees as his and will remain the same type of husband he has been is left ambiguous, but he certainly does come out ahead in his conflict with Gatsby.
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