Concerning your essay about who is most responsible for the deaths of the two young lovers in Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet, I suggest that you don't need to change your topic. While it's possible a consensus might exist that Romeo and Juliet and their impulsiveness carry the most responsibility for their downfalls, one can certainly argue for the predominance of other causes. Multiple layers of meaning and ambiguity exist, so there certainly is no problem making an argument other than the lovers' impulsiveness.
Concerning the sentence you ask about, is it your thesis? Or a topic sentence? It would help us to know. If it's a thesis you would have some work to do. I'll assume it's not.
If you want to keep punctuation similar to what you have, I'd suggest the following:
Their houses are sworn enemies: their hatred of one another derived from an "ancient grudge" that has recently flared up into "new mutiny."
You should, of course, have references in parentheses after the quotes, but I suggest you avoid the awkward references here (The Prologue, etc., is cumbersome), by simply indicating to the reader ahead of time that that's where you are quoting from.
For instance:
In the play's prologue, their houses are revealed to be sworn enemies: their hatred of one another derived from an "ancient grudge" that has recently flared up into "new mutiny."
If the passive voice of "are revealed to be" bothers you, you can play around with it and eliminate it.
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